Bloody Good

Vampire Bear Necklace

Beary cute. Bloody awesome.

Honestly, what more could you ask for than a 

rabid, neck-munching polymer clay teddy dangling in front of your chest?

I can think of very few things.

One might involve a giant, floating trampoline.

DeliciousHobo.etsy.com

FOOT LOOSE

Just thought you should know that not only do bell bottom tights exist, but that you can purchase them on Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn, NY for a mere $31.95. I do believe tights were given their name for a reason, meaning that they shouldn’t be loose anywhere…especially the ankle.

shop.emiliocavallini.com

Modest Cleavage

Prostitutes, hippies, adolescent boys, and ironic hipsters everywhere can now rest easy knowing there is a way to expose someone's breasts in public and not be entirely shunned by society and/or fined. Mom won't let you wear that slutty top to Saturday's roller rink lock-in? Well now you can show her! Be artistic and screen-print your cleavage on a modest T-shirt! I can't wait to see a copy of urban city high schools' dress code in five years. 

2005: No low cut tops, baggy trousers, or bra straps showing.

2014: Also, no breasts on your T-shirts or vaginas tattooed to your kneecaps.   

2015: Actually, no reproductive anatomy paraphernalia in general. 

2020: If you have an ass tattooed to your bicep, you sure as hell better wear a sweater, and if your sweater has a penis embroidered on it make sure you bring a jacket.

But all kidding aside. 

I kind of love this photograph and how it decapitates and almost androgenizes the wearer.

I would also probably wear this in a heartbeat.

So who wants to be my prototype/inspiration for a jumpsuit?

Dating Asexuality

This is basically how I feel at all times.

Right now in my life I would rather be dating inanimate objects like food and breezy autumn afternoons than humans, especially the male species.

I am constantly numb and hypothetically rolling my eyes.

I try and tell them that I have bad posture, hock loogies into my trash can, and enjoy garlic more than kissing, so don't bother.

But they keep on coming. And consequently leaving, once they realize I wasn't kidding.

So now I am dating Asexuality.

Who I might be cheating on with these puppies, once I get the proper dough, and sell my soul for $99.95 before they run out of a size seven.

http://www.solestruck.com

making the tight decision

Dress these Tabio little heart tights up or down.

Good with jean shorts & brown boots.

Still just as adorable with a frilly party frock.

Cute, but still sexy.

Flattering and fun.

http://www.tabio.com/uk

These Bebaroque Fringe Thigh

Highs from Urban Outfitters

are a concept that I might have

been into via a verbal description.

"Ok, yes, thigh highs, good, I love

thigh highs...and fringe, oh yes,

can't get enough fringe..."

But now that they are in a tangible

form, I'm conjuring up images of

porcupine rattails and hair

transplant nightmares...I mean,

who's idea was it to make the tights

nude colored? I don't think I'm quite

confident enough yet to romp around

with hedgehog mullets sprouting from

my appendages, but by all means,

if anyone wants to prove me wrong

and work these bad babies, I'd love to see it!

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com

celebrate your inner beauty

With your very own vagina necklace!

The creator also goes on to inform the customers how they can

contact her with an exact description (or a few pictures for the

more confident) of their own unique vaginas for a custom job.

Like they say:

If you got it, flaunt it!

VulvaLoveLovely.etsy.com

eye wood!

How much wood I love a pair (or dozen) of these!?

Both of these unique eyewear companies create 

absolutely stunning pieces that I will continue to

covet until I have an extra several hundred bucks 

lying around...aaaand of course after I purchase

one of these little gems:

!!!!