Easter Hunnies

The Easter potluck started off nice enough. I made strawberry shortcake. We hung out on the porch in the beautiful weather. Colored some eggs. Then six hours of beer, mimosas, and wine later all hell breaks loose, the dudes end up topless, Easter eggs are thrown, and the gyrating booty dancing ensues. I love my friends. ♥

I even got to wear my Lucca floral maxi sun dress it was so nice out! As you've probably picked up on, I'm just a teensy bit into wearing floor-length frocks nowadays. Getting girly without having to shave your legs? What's not to like? Here is a better picture of the dress. I love the back! And now I have a sweet tan line to go with it!

Now I want to know how the temperature can drop thirty degrees in two days?! What does Mother Nature have against the 70s? 88 is way too close to 90, and 58 is way too close to COLD. Don't we deserve at least a month of 67-77?

Listen, I recycle and take public transit. I even give people nasty looks when they litter. I bought a box of organic oatmeal once. It was gross, but I ATE THE WHOLE BOX. Doesn't that count for something? Is this about those 45 minute hot showers? Or the four rolls of toilet paper we go through in three days? Listen, if you had just given us the ability to fly, we wouldn't have all this pollution now would we? Just because you're going through some bipolar bouts of PMS does not mean your children should have to feel the wrath. Please, just one month where my armpits don't have to worry about being drowned in their own sweat or keeping my hands from turning into clawcicles. I swear I'll install that solar-powered hair dryer this time. I SWEAR!!!!

she and him and my nipples

Last night the boy and I went to a semi-formal corporate private party, with a brief and bouncy performance by She & Him. The boy went for the free booze; I went for the rare chance to venture out in public in NYC in a floor length layered tulle skirt, and we both went for the millions of fancy-shmancy, mouth watering hour devours the size of silver dollars. At the beginning we were both chasing down the models disguised as waiters in hopes of some new tiny spinach souffle square or mini tuna wasabi tower, but by the middle of the night, my belt was pretty ready to divorce my high-waisted skirt, and I was waving them and their loaded trays away. I did however, manage to save room for a last minute minuscule bacon cheeseburger the size of a checker piece, and a shot of vanilla milkshake through a chocolate straw. Hello, amazing! And apparently I'm not the only one who enjoys a good floor length drapey bottom half. I got several compliments, and two online magazine editors asked to photograph me in my ensemble. Actually, who knows if it was the skirt or the fact that my nipples were probably showing through my lace bra and micro-mesh top. Either way, they were into it, and I was into the free food and swaying around to the sweet tunes of DJ Cutefest. (*Not really her name, but boy was she adorable and playing everything from "Mr. Postman" to Nancy Sinatra. If someone knows who she is and where I can dance to more of her, please feel free to let me know!)

Here is my pathetic "don't laugh/don't pout" smirk, along with what I wore, photographed by the good people at Fashionista. I walked in, surrounded by a sea of suits and ten foot tall models in 4 foot heels, with my 3 feet legs dragging my tulle skirt, and all the cat hair weaved through it, behind me. I was also offered all the ginger ale I desired, but alas, I had to stick to 2.5 drinks considering the fact that I would end up giving my skirt a swirly in the bathroom, and most likely walk out with an entire roll of toilet paper and who knows what else trailing behind me.

They literally said, "Get a shot of her bra." An hour before this I was discussing with my roommates about how my nipples were going to show, especially if I had my picture taken. Then my boyfriend was like, "Eh, we're already late and who's going to take our picture anyway?" HA.

American Apparel lace bra & micro-mesh button down; vintage skirt, belt, & bag; thrifted blazer.
Adolescent boy's haircut by me. Bowl not required.

Head, fingers, knees, & toes!

Is it time to revamp your wardrobe? Well vamp it up with flirty faves like black mesh, ivory lace, and knee highs, but with a slightly morbid twist! Seductive and spooky? Elvira would be proud!

Hands Off Crop Top
by DimePiece

Crochet Skull Skirt

X-Ray Thigh High Socks

shopnastygal.com

Shoe Bizarre

So thanks to a great tip, I have entered the extraordinary world that is the Virtual Shoe Museum. It features all kinds of amazing, unique, or just plain crazy shoe designs and artwork. Here are some of my favorite of the most, um, intriguing so far.

Witty Titties
by Kenneth Kirschner
What could be better than wooden clogs shaped like breasts? Wooden clogs shaped like breasts with a nipple piercing of your choice, duh! I'm pretty sure the website says you can substitute the piercing for a tattoo. Although I bet he would let you get both if you're feeling extra rebellious.

Tisshoes
by Masashi Kawamura
"The inspiration came from my childhood memory of when
I loved wearing emptied tissue boxes as a pair of shoes."
I mean, come on, who didn't do that? Now we can live out
our childhood dreams in a more durable fashion!

Dildo Shoe
by Michael Brown
Ahahaha, so this one is pretty self-explanatory. Although,
it does give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'foot fetish'.
The website also goes on to explain, "The selfmade heel is
in high quality resin. So if need be...the heel can be used..."
Um, how convenient?

Nervous Digitorum
by Eelko Moorer
"Boot with veins" or "boot with a nasty leg shaving incident."
Either way, I'm into it!

Bat Shoes
(also) by Eelko Moorer
These bad babies can latch onto the hand rails in subway cars.
Apparently, the designer came up with them while pondering
how to liven up boring and similar journeys.
"I like the idea of doing something that gives a person a sense
of relief and can cheer up lives."
Sick of that monotonous everyday commute? Bored on the subway?
Just slip on your Bat Shoes and hang out in style!

These next five fascinating designs were all created by Kobi Levi.
"When I design a shoe I think about it as a sculpture to wear, an art piece you live with. You and your body affect its look and it affects yours. Footwear should have its life with and without being on the feet, on the contrary to cloths that exist only when being worn."

Miao
I'm not really sure why it's named 'Miao'. Maybe that's
another way to say "meow", but I'm not actually sure if
these shoes are supposed to be cats or some sort of chihuahua?
Either way though, these shoes have tails, and I'm pretty
much down with anything that can give me paw prints.

Market
Platform sandals or melting grocery baskets?

Tongue Shoe
Alright guys, open up and say, "Aaahhhh."

Rollercoaster Shoe
Amusement for everyone!

Chewing Gum Shoe
Relive that embarrassing moment all day in these sweet
high-heeled tennis shoes!

And now for some genius shoes I would actually wear in a heartbeat...if I weren't so broke(n hearted).

2in1 Zipper (Nat-2)
by Stephen Yeung & Sebastian Thies
Not only are they chock full of zippers and a great color
combination, but these high-tops are also (surprise!) sandals!
Now we can hike or ride our bikes or play basketball all the
way to the beach and 'ziiiiiiip! tada!' we are ready for a more
relaxing, breathe-easy shoe, ready to be kicked off at a moment's
notice once we get that urge to sink our toes in the mud or
have a splash fight with our beach partner!

Animal Shoes
by Machupicchu
Beautiful shoes in fine crafted leather that have ears, and eyes,
and puppy dogs? Finally, my prayers have been answered.

And then there are these...

Jersey Boot
by Daphne Bikker
Whoever told her to sew her dad's old sweatshirt arms to her
mom's pumps needs a good, swift kick in the butt with
Michael Brown's aforementioned Dildo Shoe.

The Holey Shirt

Bahahaha. God, I love a good pun.

shopnastygal.com

Sole Sistahs

So remember when I entered that Lookbook.nu/Need Supply Co./Jeffrey Campbell contest forever ago? Well, I ended up being one of the three second place winners, which got me a free pair of Jeffrey Campbell shoes of my choice from needsupply.com. I chose some sweet plum colored lace-up boots, and thought that was that. But just the other day, as I was lurking the Jeffrey Campbell blog, I discovered that not only did they make a pair of shoes inspired by the two grand prize winners, but apparently they also made a pair inspired by my entry! They are now on sale for $115 at Need Supply Co. Now if I could only afford them!

Hair Raising

What they really do with Locks of Love...

Actually...if I was terminally ill I think I would rather have this than a creepy old wig. Wigs are hot and itchy and unnatural looking. Whereas being bald and sporting a braided hairpiece necklace is badass.

This furry necklace by Grau Wal is actually made of synthetic hair, but it's more fun pretending it's from the human head. If I didn't have an adolescent boy's haircut I would totally make my own custom rattail neckpiece!

But either way, the Grau Wal "pieces containing hair can be ordered in black, dark brown, blonde, white, dark grey, and red." You can even get a matching bracelet too!

http://grauwal.com/collection.html