Monday, September 28, 2009

Modest Cleavage

Prostitutes, hippies, adolescent boys, and ironic hipsters everywhere can now rest easy knowing there is a way to expose someone's breasts in public and not be entirely shunned by society and/or fined. Mom won't let you wear that slutty top to Saturday's roller rink lock-in? Well now you can show her! Be artistic and screen-print your cleavage on a modest T-shirt! I can't wait to see a copy of urban city high schools' dress code in five years. 

2005: No low cut tops, baggy trousers, or bra straps showing.
2014: Also, no breasts on your T-shirts or vaginas tattooed to your kneecaps.   
2015: Actually, no reproductive anatomy paraphernalia in general. 
2020: If you have an ass tattooed to your bicep, you sure as hell better wear a sweater, and if your sweater has a penis embroidered on it make sure you bring a jacket.

But all kidding aside. 
I kind of love this photograph and how it decapitates and almost androgenizes the wearer.
I would also probably wear this in a heartbeat.
So who wants to be my prototype/inspiration for a jumpsuit?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dating Asexuality

This is basically how I feel at all times.
Right now in my life I would rather be dating inanimate objects like food and breezy autumn afternoons than humans, especially the male species.
I am constantly numb and hypothetically rolling my eyes.
I try and tell them that I have bad posture, hock loogies into my trash can, and enjoy garlic more than kissing, so don't bother.
But they keep on coming. And consequently leaving, once they realize I wasn't kidding.

So now I am dating Asexuality.
Who I might be cheating on with these puppies, once I get the proper dough, and sell my soul for $99.95 before they run out of a size seven.
Related Posts with Thumbnails