Ghost Town

About a month ago, I traveled back down to my Southern roots that hold down ancient oak trees covered in Spanish moss on the Florida/Georgia border. A second cousin was getting married. The preacher was wearing a skin tight pink ensemble and lots of bottle blonde. There was already a child out of wedlock, lots of country karaoke, and the only nonalcoholic beverage offered was sweet tea. My mom almost made me miss my flight back, but she made up for it beforehand by line dancing in cowboy boots and exclaiming, "I put my britches on backwards!"

While I was there, my brother and I walked around the tiny town and snapped a few pictures. It literally has one gas station, one corner store, two restaurants, two churches, and the tiniest fire station and library I've ever seen. All within one mile of each other. There are pictures of me by the train tracks, but don't let that fool you. The train hasn't stopped there for years.

Johnny is my deceased great grandfather I never met. Dorothy is my still kicking sassy great grandmother. Bobo is what they named every one of their four children. Or their dog. I can't remember.

 My great grandmother's ancient wrap-around front porch with original 80 year old seating.

 The original bridezillas, from left to right: Belinda, Great Aunt Once Removed; Brenda Breeze, Great Aunt; Barbara Anne, Grandmother; Linda, Great Aunt.

This was my favorite photo in the house. It's of my grandmother, my aunt [the little one], and my mother in the 70s. I love what they are wearing, especially my mother's outfit.

And then there's this.

Leave it to your great grandmother's house

to remind you what you looked like with hair a decade ago.

Back to School Vibes

 "I like your friend."

"Which one?"

"The one with the boy haircut."

Says the dude I talked to for a total of ten minutes, which mostly consisted of him showing off photos of himself as a goth teenager with a face full of makeup, platform boots, and sushi placed strategically all over his naked body. 

"OkCupid says we're compatible. Does she get on there anymore?"

Says the dude who trimmed his pubes in the bathroom, while my friends and I were right outside making fun of the Bachelorette. Yes, he left them in the toilet without flushing.

"I think she has a boyfriend."

So it's that time of year again. Unless of course you are like me, and a 24 year old professional intern with a Bachelor's Degree in NYC. But that doesn't mean we can't take advantage of low-maintenance school boy haircuts, book bags, and petitioning idiotic clothing companies to remove toxic stereotype-inducing, school related graphics from their tee shirts.

Last night this outfit accompanied me to another fun-filled night at Drag Queen Bingo. I actually ended up winning the first game, and my best friend was only underwear and knee high boots away from being completely naked on stage. My prize was a ceramic apple and a box of Junior Mints, which seemed great until I found out the next prize was a couple of hand towels covered in the faces of kittens and puppies. 

denim button-up: thrifted dress I amputated // leopard print skirt: thrifted, but looks homemade // beaded belt: Fox & Fawn Vintage // sandals: Jeffrey Campbell

backpack: stared at it for half an hour trying to convince myself I needed another bag in the San Juan, Puerto Rico Airport

Here are some of the vomit inducing sexist tees I was speaking of earlier. The ones on the left have apparently already been removed because there are a good number of self-respecting, decent human beings in this world that aren't afraid of letting JC Penney and Forever 21 know how insulting/terrifying/unacceptable this is. Although to the best of my knowledge the ones on the right are still out there poisoning the minds of our youth for less than $15. But what's most disturbing, is that these items actually made it from an idea, to production, all the way to being on the shelves and within the grasp of girls ages 7 to 17. I work for a children's clothing design company, and I know how many people a design has to go through to get approved. The fact that no one is opposing this obviously demeaning garbage is quite horrifying. That is why everyone should sign this petition to show that the companies' review process is flawed, and must be improved, so that this never happens again. By the way, before it got pulled, this is how JC Penney decided to market that "I'm too pretty to be smart" tee: "Who has time for homework when there's a new Justin Bieber album out? She'll love this tee that's just as cute and sassy as she is." Seriously? Way to make me physically ill, JCPenney. I mean, you're pretty much promoting bulimia as well at this point.

JC PENNEY:

marketed to young girls

FOREVER 21:

marketed to teenage girls

And here is a glamour shot of my baby Boobie to calm your infuriated nerves/congratulate you on signing that petition!

Pleather & Lace

I wore this last night thinking I was headed to a 90s Grunge Prom Party, but my girlfriend wasn't feeling up to it, and the boys apparently aren't as into dancing to Spice Girls and Nirvana in flannel and lace as I am. So I stayed home with the dudes and watched nightmare inducing movies involving serial killers and incest. Clearly I need some more girl friends. Also, the skull charm's jaw is articulated, and can chomp down on unsuspecting pinkies and flies and miniature pastries and things. Then to keep up with the theme, my boots' heel also became articulated at some point during the night, and was snacking on large amounts of snow and mud and causing a racket every time I took a step. 

skull necklace w/ articulated jaw: DIY w/ charm I found

boots: TODS thrifted at Goodwill for $15

green army jacket: Urban Outfitters

tights & socks: American Apparel

kitten backpack: gift from the boy

blue flannel: thrifted forever ago

pleather jacket: free from UO

pleather shorts: Forever 21

lace corset: thrifted

Modern Cat Lady

So lately I've been trying to organize the results of my life-long hoarder's disease, and decide what to keep, what to give to charity, what to incinerate, and last but not least, what to sell to you lovely people on my Etsy site. Anyway, this little plaid patchwork Marc Jacobs number jumped out at me from one of my many dust covered boxes I had shipped up here from Florida. I had gotten it off the internet for super cheap [cheap as designer standards go, anyway] at least five years ago. I've barely ever worn it though, because  apparently designers design clothes for models and people with torsos twice as tall as mine. My frame is just too miniscule, and gets swallowed by unflattering silhouettes every time. [I've purchased three Marc Jacobs dresses total, all of them size 2s, and all of them slightly too large and in charge, so I never wear any of them. Which means I either need to sell them, or alter them. Decisions, decisions...] But yeah, so I was messing around with this one, trying to see how I could wear it, and/or style it to sell. This is what I came up with in fifteen minutes, before I got sidetracked by some soup and an episode of Law & Order: SVU. I added a skinny belt that you can't see to make it fit better and of course show off a little more of my extremely sexy calves or whatever. The glasses are faux wood ones I have been meaning to fill with sunglass lenses, so I don't end up looking like a faux dork IRL. [IRL means "In Real Life" for all you people who somehow accidently stumbled on my site, were appalled by the fact that I'm a hoarder, and aren't actually internet nerds like me.]

faux wood glasses: Asain interwebz? $1O?

pleather jacket: Urban Outfitters; free because no tags/censor and my friend is a badass [shh]

plaid patchwork dress: Marc Jacobs; Ebay; $1OO-2OO? So long ago...

kitten backpack: x-mas present from the boy; he got it online from London

studded brogues: Dolce Vita for Target; on sale for $15!

trouser socks: CVS Pharmacy

Saturday...

"Just got back from a day of the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, Coney Island Mermaid Parade, a million creative pasty covered nipples, and my first sunburn in years. Time to cover myself in aloe and ice cream and go to bed."

Here I am at the gorgeous BBG...

And then my camera conveniently died.

So I didn't get ANY pictures of Coney. Where apparently you were a mermaid as long as you had on sequins, body paint, and/or were at least half naked. Did I mention I brought my dad to this? Well, we were just going to have a pleasant morning stroll through the beautiful Botanical Gardens, but since Coney Island was a mere twenty stops away, we felt the obligation to visit. And then all hell (along with everyone's tits) broke loose, as we stepped off the train and unknowingly entered the Mermaid Parade. I also ended up eating at a Chinese buffet restaurant where a lady in a motorized bed would ride up right alongside the buffet tables and shovel fried foods into her lap. Not to mention, on our way there my father bought an Egyptian themed paper weight equipped with a pharaoh's head and hieroglyphics, which he insisted on carrying around all day in his cargo shorts and whipping out every two seconds so he could rub it like a magic lamp, mumble some fake "Egyptian" chant and cast spells on the subway trains, traffic, etc. But then he set up my wireless router, so I guess he is allowed the occasional frequent chant. :)

Wearing: 

Secondhand crop-top

High-waisted shorts, Fox & Fawn Vintage

Beaded belt, Fox & Fawn Vintage

TOMS shoes

Cruisin' for a Boozin'

"Celeste Cerro is on her way to a free Deer Tick concert on a booze cruise wearing a nautical themed jumper."

This vintage jumper has been one of my favorite finds, but I could never decide what to wear it with without looking too themed or resembling a small child. Well, the perfect occasion finally came along to test it out. My boyfriend is the tour manager and brother/friend of the band Deer Tick, who I have recently become a huge fan of (the boys and their music). Monday night they played a private surprise birthday party on a yacht with musician and friend Jonny Corndawg, which I was lucky enough to witness. So my friend and I decided to dress up for the occasion, since we are both from Florida and miss the shit out of bodies of water and boats. She had already planned to wear the adorable new yarn trimmed sailor dress she just made, and so I went home to decide how I could follow suit. I had totally forgotten about this little jumper, since I basically haven't ever worn it since...well, ever? But as I was going through my many hoarded closet gems, the second I saw it, I knew it was the one. But what would I pair it with, without looking five years old or being too matchy? I finally went with this black bustier swimsuit top by Proenza Schouler for Target that I thrifted a while ago, and my beat up vintage oxfords with my pinky toe sticking out. I couldn't decide on any jewelry because it either clashed with the anchors, or made it match to the point of costume, so I just didn't wear any.

Vintage nautical jumper, The Other Side Vintage in Florida; Bustier swimsuit top, thrifted, Proenza Schouler for Target; Vintage cut-out oxfords, thrifted forever ago in Florida; Vintage quilted & chain purse, Goodwill in Florida. Haha, I just realized apparently I bought everything in Florida that I was wearing to pay homage to Florida. How appropriate!

Here are some photos from the night by Tracy Allison via Brooklyn Vegan:
 

Me in my nautical gear laughing at Jonny Corndawg's sweet dance moves along to the tunes of Deer Tick while circling the Statue of Liberty on a cruise full of booze (and cola). :)

The boy (Mike) and Corndawg. :)

And it looks like my friend and I weren't the only ones who decided to get boat cruise chic! Look at how festive the Deer Tick dudes were lookin'!

John decked out in his straw cabana hat...

Ian (Mike's brother) got leiddddd!

Chris in a fitting sailor's cap.

And Dennis rockin' out in shades!

Oh yeah, and then there's this guy.
I think he was the only one who beat us in the "festive" department.

The boat

Our view. :)

But yeah, you should check out Deer Tick & Jonny.
They are great dudes and amazing musicians.