So thanks to a great tip, I have entered the extraordinary world that is the Virtual Shoe Museum. It features all kinds of amazing, unique, or just plain crazy shoe designs and artwork. Here are some of my favorite of the most, um, intriguing so far.
Witty Titties by Kenneth Kirschner What could be better than wooden clogs shaped like breasts? Wooden clogs shaped like breasts with a nipple piercing of your choice, duh! I'm pretty sure the website says you can substitute the piercing for a tattoo. Although I bet he would let you get both if you're feeling extra rebellious.
Tisshoes by Masashi Kawamura "The inspiration came from my childhood memory of when I loved wearing emptied tissue boxes as a pair of shoes." I mean, come on, who didn't do that? Now we can live out our childhood dreams in a more durable fashion!
Dildo Shoe by Michael Brown Ahahaha, so this one is pretty self-explanatory. Although, it does give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'foot fetish'. The website also goes on to explain, "The selfmade heel is in high quality resin. So if need be...the heel can be used..." Um, how convenient?
Nervous Digitorum by Eelko Moorer "Boot with veins" or "boot with a nasty leg shaving incident." Either way, I'm into it!
Bat Shoes (also) by Eelko Moorer These bad babies can latch onto the hand rails in subway cars. Apparently, the designer came up with them while pondering how to liven up boring and similar journeys. "I like the idea of doing something that gives a person a sense of relief and can cheer up lives." Sick of that monotonous everyday commute? Bored on the subway? Just slip on your Bat Shoes and hang out in style!
These next five fascinating designs were all created by Kobi Levi. "When I design a shoe I think about it as a sculpture to wear, an art piece you live with. You and your body affect its look and it affects yours. Footwear should have its life with and without being on the feet, on the contrary to cloths that exist only when being worn."
Miao I'm not really sure why it's named 'Miao'. Maybe that's another way to say "meow", but I'm not actually sure if these shoes are supposed to be cats or some sort of chihuahua? Either way though, these shoes have tails, and I'm pretty much down with anything that can give me paw prints.
Market Platform sandals or melting grocery baskets?
Tongue Shoe Alright guys, open up and say, "Aaahhhh."
Rollercoaster Shoe Amusement for everyone!
Chewing Gum Shoe Relive that embarrassing moment all day in these sweet high-heeled tennis shoes!
And now for some genius shoes I would actually wear in a heartbeat...if I weren't so broke(n hearted).
2in1 Zipper (Nat-2) by Stephen Yeung & Sebastian Thies Not only are they chock full of zippers and a great color combination, but these high-tops are also (surprise!) sandals! Now we can hike or ride our bikes or play basketball all the way to the beach and 'ziiiiiiip! tada!' we are ready for a more relaxing, breathe-easy shoe, ready to be kicked off at a moment's notice once we get that urge to sink our toes in the mud or have a splash fight with our beach partner!
Animal Shoes by Machupicchu Beautiful shoes in fine crafted leather that have ears, and eyes, and puppy dogs? Finally, my prayers have been answered.
And then there are these...
Jersey Boot by Daphne Bikker Whoever told her to sew her dad's old sweatshirt arms to her mom's pumps needs a good, swift kick in the butt with Michael Brown's aforementioned Dildo Shoe.
So remember when I entered that Lookbook.nu/Need Supply Co./Jeffrey Campbell contest forever ago? Well, I ended up being one of the three second place winners, which got me a free pair of Jeffrey Campbell shoes of my choice from needsupply.com. I chose some sweet plum colored lace-up boots, and thought that was that. But just the other day, as I was lurking the Jeffrey Campbell blog, I discovered that not only did they make a pair of shoes inspired by the two grand prize winners, but apparently they also made a pair inspired by my entry! They are now on sale for $115 at Need Supply Co. Now if I could only afford them!
For the past few months I have been trudging around in the freezing snow, slush, and small lakes that form in the dip between the sidewalk and street corners. These huge, deceiving slushie ponds are born to swallow, freeze, and soak my feet to the bone. By the end of the day I end up hiding under my comforter and sucking down smoothies, pretending I'm taking revenge against the icy wet monsters outside, by devouring their young one sip at a time.
Before now I have refused to give in to the proper waterproof footwear. I slip and slide and squish around day after day because I am determined not to succumb to the dreaded practical rain boot. As one might have noticed from this blog, I am mildly obsessed with shoes, and I feel a big, clunky rubber boot is just about the worst kind of insult to such a potentially beautiful craftsmanship. (Along with the infamous UGH boot and any other cankle forming atrocities. But we'll save that for another rant.) Alas, I am tired of trying to tiptoe around icy lagoons and ruining all my pretty little leather booties, plus Spring is right around the corner which I want to kick right in the ass with one swift rain resistant boot. So I went on the hunt, and came up with some surprisingly beautiful, stylish specimens.
Put a little spring in your step with these adorable däv Floral Waterproof Riding Boots
Also comes in a sensible heel version...
Or you could just go straight for the entire pump, with this chic two-toned waterproof pair. Or you could just go all out and buy a COWBOY RAIN BOOT. Never did I ever think I'd be singin' country tunes in the rain in such arid style. www.davrain.com These sleek Python Hunter Rain Boots will eat those pesky snow flakes for breakfast!
These Tretorn Ballena Lace-up Rubber Boots look just like your badass leather Docs, but can still kick ass at staying dry.
With these Dirty Laundry Double Dutch rubber sneaker boots, you can still have the comfy feel and classic look of your old Chuck Taylors without having to wring out the canvas when you get home.
But if you still can't part with your alligator oxfords or your sky-highs (for those of you more masochistic ladies), then here's another option: Swims shoe cover galoshes. They fit right over your favorite shoes, with a sleek style and comfort fit. The bottom has a no slip grip and they come in a variety of colors and shapes. The only slipping you'll be doing in these babies is slipping them on and off as you transform from stylish office babe to resilient weather woman in one quick swoop!