Monday, November 23, 2009


Apparently the latest fad in Japan is wearing a faux assless skirt.
Basically painting (a probably nicer version of) what one's clothing is meant to be hiding. Makes perfect sense, right?
You can get just about whatever style you want too:
Floral, lace, thongs, wedgies, granny-panties, hell, even falling off!
They are even appropriate work attire apparently!
I just can't wait to for this trend to hit the the U.S.
I wonder if car accidents have peaked since this cheeky trend, what with all the double-takes and all...

A special thanks goes out to my father who e-mailed me such a gem of information!

Naughty or Nice?


Goodness gracious, who posed this shot? Just look at her face... It totally looks like she's about to get molested by Santa again, but knows she can do nothing about it because, duh, it's SANTA. Yeah, go ahead, get Santa thrown in jail. RUIN CHRISTMAS FOR EVERY LITTLE BOY AND GIRL IN THE WORLD. She knows she has to take one for the team. Womp, womp.


Who wants to help me bring overalls back?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Morbid Nostalgia

I really don't even know where to start...
I mean, we are talking about amputated appendage jewelry here.
I can just picture this person sitting home alone, chopping up Barbie Dolls and humming to herself while she paints teeny tiny toenails and creates pools of fake blood.

"How many toy ants should I put in this miniature pink plastic bowl, so as to be creepy enough, but not to overwhelm the estranged high-heeled foot...?"

High-five for hand filled goblets!

I am pretty partial to the brooches...

I'm not even religious, but I would wear the heck out of this!

Twinkle toes hangin' from your ear lobes!

Barbie ate the rest of her body with that knife and fork.

Who would have thought to combine pink plastic childhood nostalgia with insects, blood, and amputation, let alone hang it on a chain around their neck? The creator goes on to insist that, "I have an obsession with dolls, and I thought it would be great if I could carry it around with me."
Haha, right of course, great point!
All I know, is that I am going to get so many double-takes when I go to church with dismembered ballet legs dangling from my ears. Can't wait!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Spine Tingling Adornment

I am so sad that is sold out of their Snake Vertebrae Beads. Now what am I going to make my grandmother for Christmas??

But seriously, how badass would you be walking around, going to the post office, brushing your teeth...with a goddamn snake spine wrapped around your neck?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dali Body Part Bling

Leaf veined hands you can wear on your ears or pinned to your chest? A diamond encrusted crying eyeball watch? Bling bling appendages for flower petals? Um, YES PLEASE. Dali knew what was up! I actually discovered these little gems pretty randomly. I was just walking down Bedford (a popular street in Williamsburg) sifting through all the books they sell on the side of the road, when I came upon a book devoted entirely to Dali's jewelry designs. How I was not graced with their presence before baffles me. You can view them all, and actually purchase replicas, at In addition to the Leaf Vein Hands being my favorite, I am pretty partial to the Living Flower Pin.

Eye of Time Pin

In addition to the body part bling, I am also quite fond of this Space Elephant brooch.
I also kind of want this as a pet. How do you think I would go about breeding something like that?

The website also had "Dali Inspired" pieces.
Which involved melting clock wristwatches, that I'm pretty into.

As well as these, which I am really confused about. Can someone please refresh my memory as to the correlation between Salvador Dali and dangly, silver-plated clumps of dead baby fairy skulls? Anyone?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Animal (Foot) Prints

What girl wouldn't want a high-heeled horse hoof 
in her shoe collection? 
I mean, come on, they have ZIPPERS! TRENDY!

I took this photo at an art show this past weekend. This dude did the taxidermy on these babies himself. And he has the photographs tacked to his bulletin board to prove it. These things were so visually stimulating my mind almost exploded when I saw them. If my brain was capable of a vomit orgasm it would have had three.

The same art show entailed enlarged horse genitalia molds attached to life size horses in sexual positions and candy house santa head porn. This night also involved pizza pit stops, men with lollipops, sober bar hopping in an office chair, and dancing till your feet fall off. Honestly, what more could a girl want?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Imprisoned Adornment

Who wants to help me start a caged naked child necklace trend?
We could call it CN².
Eh, eh?

Renne Beggsmith
"Another Girl"

Sole Mates

Note: I submitted this to for their "Make It With Jeffrey Campbell" contest. The grand prize is a chance to design your dream shoe with Jeffrey Campbell himself. Here is my entry. You can find it at, if you are on LB and want to help my broke/shoe obsessed ass by hyping it.

I will describe the perfect pair of shoes with the five C’s:

Classic: They never go out of style. There is a vintage, timeless appeal.

Creative: But with a unique, innovative twist that makes them stand out from the rest and adds a ‘pop’ to any outfit.

Contrast: Mixed materials and two-toned shoes have such a better kick to them. Pun intended.

Cut-outs: Not only do they let your feet breathe, but they add a sort of artistic craftsmanship that just isn’t seen often enough. I mean oxford style, skeleton effect, shapes, slits, woven, what have you. You cut it out, and I’ll eat it up.

Comfort: Last, but certainly not least, I cannot and will not wear a shoe that is uncomfortable. I know there are tons of “fashionistas” out there that worship their stilettos and may actually stab me in the heart with one just to get their perfectly manicured hands on a pair of diamond encrusted Manolos, but to me, comfort is key. When I am comfortable, I am confident, and confidence is what convinces the world you are actually hot and desirable despite your scoliosis and backne. Besides, shoes are technically meant to protect your feet, not make them bleed and blister and swell to the size of basketballs. Basically what it comes down to is if I can’t dance in ‘em, I don’t want ‘em, because honestly, what’s the point of life if you can’t bust a move at the drop of a diamond encrusted hat?

Now why do I deserve to design a shoe with Jeffrey Campbell? Well, I’ve walked in the best (and worst) of them. I’ve danced, walked, and stalked in every kind of shoe imaginable, from feather-trimmed cowboy boots to teal faux croc wedges to silver moonboot galoshes. (Yes, I’ve also learned from my mistakes). I’ve scoured thrift stores, upon vintage stores, upon Shoe Manias, upon the internet abyss, upon European flea markets, upon stores that probably paid ten times as much for their doormat than I could ever hope to get for my entire soul, looking for that one perfect pair. Of course, just like finding the right (wo)man, you never can seem to find the exact match you are looking for. You just pick and choose adjectives from the lot and end up with this huge list of “What Makes the Perfect One” without actually ever getting there. Well, as much as I would love to be able to create my very own perfect man, I don’t think we actually have that technology yet, (keep your fingers crossed!) but it is possible to design my perfect shoe. And who better to do it with than the king of classy innovation himself, Jeffrey Campbell? Please Mr. Campbell, help me make my Sole Mate!

All the best,

Celeste Cerro

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Bloody Good

Vampire Bear Necklace
Beary cute. Bloody awesome.
Honestly, what more could you ask for than a 
rabid, neck-munching polymer clay teddy dangling in front of your chest?
I can think of very few things.
One might involve a giant, floating trampoline.


Just thought you should know that not only do bell bottom tights exist, but that you can purchase them on Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn, NY for a mere $31.95. I do believe tights were given their name for a reason, meaning that they shouldn’t be loose anywhere…especially the ankle.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Modest Cleavage

Prostitutes, hippies, adolescent boys, and ironic hipsters everywhere can now rest easy knowing there is a way to expose someone's breasts in public and not be entirely shunned by society and/or fined. Mom won't let you wear that slutty top to Saturday's roller rink lock-in? Well now you can show her! Be artistic and screen-print your cleavage on a modest T-shirt! I can't wait to see a copy of urban city high schools' dress code in five years. 

2005: No low cut tops, baggy trousers, or bra straps showing.
2014: Also, no breasts on your T-shirts or vaginas tattooed to your kneecaps.   
2015: Actually, no reproductive anatomy paraphernalia in general. 
2020: If you have an ass tattooed to your bicep, you sure as hell better wear a sweater, and if your sweater has a penis embroidered on it make sure you bring a jacket.

But all kidding aside. 
I kind of love this photograph and how it decapitates and almost androgenizes the wearer.
I would also probably wear this in a heartbeat.
So who wants to be my prototype/inspiration for a jumpsuit?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dating Asexuality

This is basically how I feel at all times.
Right now in my life I would rather be dating inanimate objects like food and breezy autumn afternoons than humans, especially the male species.
I am constantly numb and hypothetically rolling my eyes.
I try and tell them that I have bad posture, hock loogies into my trash can, and enjoy garlic more than kissing, so don't bother.
But they keep on coming. And consequently leaving, once they realize I wasn't kidding.

So now I am dating Asexuality.
Who I might be cheating on with these puppies, once I get the proper dough, and sell my soul for $99.95 before they run out of a size seven.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

making the tight decision

Dress these Tabio little heart tights up or down.
Good with jean shorts & brown boots.
Still just as adorable with a frilly party frock.
Cute, but still sexy.
Flattering and fun.

These Bebaroque Fringe Thigh
Highs from Urban Outfitters
are a concept that I might have
been into via a verbal description.
"Ok, yes, thigh highs, good, I love
thigh highs...and fringe, oh yes,
can't get enough fringe..."
But now that they are in a tangible
form, I'm conjuring up images of
porcupine rattails and hair
transplant nightmares...I mean,
who's idea was it to make the tights
nude colored? I don't think I'm quite
confident enough yet to romp around
with hedgehog mullets sprouting from
my appendages, but by all means,
if anyone wants to prove me wrong
and work these bad babies, I'd love to see it!

Monday, July 27, 2009

celebrate your inner beauty

With your very own vagina necklace!

The creator also goes on to inform the customers how they can
contact her with an exact description (or a few pictures for the
more confident) of their own unique vaginas for a custom job.

Like they say:
If you got it, flaunt it!

eye wood!

How much wood I love a pair (or dozen) of these!?

Both of these unique eyewear companies create 
absolutely stunning pieces that I will continue to
covet until I have an extra several hundred bucks 
lying around...aaaand of course after I purchase
one of these little gems:

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