Faux Toes

How did I not know about these babies before? These Comme des Garcons gold, toe printed oxfords mesh my foot/shoe fetishes in perfect harmony.

They also come in black and white...

Or moccasin style...

I love anything that is so ugly it's cute.
Like bulldogs. And little old ladies. And beautifully crafted shoes with toes doodled on them.

And then there are these...

The first time I saw these in public I thought the person who was attached to them standing in our local coffee shop was out and about in the freezing weather with no shoes on. Because before such encounter, I was only aware that toe socks existed, certainly not toe shoes. I was pretty convinced this grown man was standing in front of me with only a thin layer of cotton covering each of his appendages. So of course I inquired about his public toe sock logic. He then informed me that they were in fact actual practical shoes on his feet. I then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably for ten minutes and carry on about how great they would be for climbing trees. Although, other than channeling our inner limb swinging primates, I really don't understand these five phalanged friends.

Except that they are fucking hilarious to run into.

Humble Abone

Whether you are planning to redecorate your house in haunted mansion chic, or you are just as obsessed with anything anatomy related that should never be anatomy related (bleeding heart cupcakes, severed appendage earrings, screen-printed cleavage, vagina necklaces...etc.) as myself, then Vladi Rapaport's Vanitas collection is perfect for you (and me...or just me.) The anatomy inspired furniture is described on Rapaport's website as being:

"A collection of products inspired by the Dutch "vanitas" still life paintings from the 16th and 17th century. The characteristic type of symbolic still life painting is the one where the symbols of emptiness, time and death were placed on the canvas as a reminder of the vanity of one's earthly life."

Eh, while some people, including the creator, may find these pieces a tad bit morbid, I can't help but think about what a talented artist Mother Nature is for coming up with such beautiful, intricate, and fully functional designs. These concepts should be flaunted, whether dangling from our earlobes, conquering our sweet tooth, or brightening up our rooms and propping up our more organic, still attached feet.

Or you could always go with the chic haunted house idea...
Count Dracula always was a pretty snazzy dresser.

Skull Chair

Brain Ottoman

Spine Lamp

http://vladirapaport.nl/

Balloon Brooch Babe

This adorable wooden and chain brooch was made by England based jewelry line Stolen Thunder, whose beautiful and unique pieces encourage its customers to steal back their thunder from the consumer led hunger for cheap, soulless items, mass produced without love or identity.

The delightful trinket also comes in white, and can be worn as a cardigan pin by fastening it to each side of your cardi. Here is how Parisian fashion blogger Alix wore her's.

stolenthunderboutique.com
thecherryblossomgirl.com

FOOT FETISH

So apparently I have a foot fetish.
Not only judging by my blog's banner involving my own leopard clad appendages, but today while lurking through acquaintances' photography sites, I picked out a number of my favorite photos, not realizing that many of them were people's bottom halves. I'm not sure why, but a leg going into a shoe going into its natural environment just really gets me going.

Spring

Summer

Autumn

Winter

The End.

#1, 2. 4 by Mary Carmack
http://www.flickr.com/photos/where_it_lands

#3 by Andy Scott
http://withoutmagic.tumblr.com

#5 by Celeste Cerro (that'd be me)

#6 Unknown

Amorous Anatomy

For all my single ladies out there who aren't planning on getting a ring on it by this Valentine's Day (I'm talking wedding ring, engagement ring, promise ring, complimentary onion rings...what have you) here are some sweet, cynical, and little more literal ideas to spend on the other single ladies in your life.

Heart Necklace
lilliancrowe.etsy.com
A beautifully crafted anatomically correct piece of amorous anatomy. It comes in many metals, but my personal favorite is this one in oxidized copper, which gives it a more antique quality, for those like me who are old at heart and obsessed with anything vintage, used, or ugly.

Bleeding Heart Cupcakes
http://www.yumsugar.com/1024600
Share your angst and conquer your sweet tooth
at the same time with these bloody Valentines.

Eat Your Heart Out Small Oval Plate
foldedpig.etsy.com
Perfect for eating your above hemorrhaging dessert on.

I personally find V-Day way more fun when I don't have anyone to buy me onion rings. But I guess I do have the bleeding heart of a cynic. I find cynicism funny. Perfection is boring, and no one else wants to hear how happy you are. Plus, nothing brings people together like hating something, am I right? But seriously, I enjoy painting my nails black (like my soul) and my lips (blood) red, getting pumped to "Sex Bomb", wishing people a happy Venereal Disease, and exchanging goodies with people who I know will never break my heart or make me incinerate perfectly good jewelry, underwear, or photobooth pictures a year from now. Unfortunately, this year I have a super sweet someone who already brings me chocolates, buys me dinner, and whispers sweet nothings in my ear year-round, so Valentine's Day is going to have a hard time feeling special. So all you single ladies out there, paint your pouts, exchange some angsty amorous anatomy, juggle some hearts, and rage a little harder for me next Sunday, as I will be wallowing in the arms of my loved one. Or you could just ban together and talk mad shit about me. Whatever makes your bloody Valentine's extra sweet. :)

Hopeless Romantic

Valentine Voyage

Basically if Bettie Page threw up on Chanel who then had a love child with Alexa Chung, who happened to ride everywhere on unicorns and rainbows and had an insatiable appetite for sex and cream puffs...this would be the muse for the lingerie line Hopeless, formed by Aussie sister team Gabrielle and Dominique Adamidis. According to the duo, their third collection, "The Voyage", is "based on Steven Spielberg's Jaws. Taking inspiration from the sharks teeth, the blood in the ocean and the waves of the sea." I'd say it's basically the cutest thing I've ever seen, beating out baskets of puppies and babies in costumes. With high-waisted bottoms and frills galore, these girls know how to mix vintage with feminine and make it sexy. Perfect for a Valentine's Day voyage through a sea of sheets...or to just stare at yourself in the mirror while you feed yourself chocolates and recognize how unlucky every boy (or girl) in the world is for not scooping you up sooner.

Here is another collection of theirs, inspired by the singing garden in "Alice in Wonderland". They cleverly played with the petal shapes which translated into these beautiful and innovative designs.

This next set was based on Audrey Hepburn's character 'Holly Golightly' in the film "Breakfast at Tiffany's". The black and white is chic, the silhouettes are sexy, the details are feminie, the style is vintage, but the whole ensemble is Hopelessly unique.

Hopeless also makes all sorts of adorable bow head/hair pieces. Here are just a couple to get your mouth watering before you check out their online Etsy store chocked full of silky confections!

Hopeless.etsy.com