Thursday, February 4, 2010

Amorous Anatomy

For all my single ladies out there who aren't planning on getting a ring on it by this Valentine's Day (I'm talking wedding ring, engagement ring, promise ring, complimentary onion rings...what have you) here are some sweet, cynical, and little more literal ideas to spend on the other single ladies in your life.

Heart Necklace
lilliancrowe.etsy.com
A beautifully crafted anatomically correct piece of amorous anatomy. It comes in many metals, but my personal favorite is this one in oxidized copper, which gives it a more antique quality, for those like me who are old at heart and obsessed with anything vintage, used, or ugly.

Bleeding Heart Cupcakes
http://www.yumsugar.com/1024600
Share your angst and conquer your sweet tooth
at the same time with these bloody Valentines.

Eat Your Heart Out Small Oval Plate
foldedpig.etsy.com
Perfect for eating your above hemorrhaging dessert on.

I personally find V-Day way more fun when I don't have anyone to buy me onion rings. But I guess I do have the bleeding heart of a cynic. I find cynicism funny. Perfection is boring, and no one else wants to hear how happy you are. Plus, nothing brings people together like hating something, am I right? But seriously, I enjoy painting my nails black (like my soul) and my lips (blood) red, getting pumped to "Sex Bomb", wishing people a happy Venereal Disease, and exchanging goodies with people who I know will never break my heart or make me incinerate perfectly good jewelry, underwear, or photobooth pictures a year from now. Unfortunately, this year I have a super sweet someone who already brings me chocolates, buys me dinner, and whispers sweet nothings in my ear year-round, so Valentine's Day is going to have a hard time feeling special. So all you single ladies out there, paint your pouts, exchange some angsty amorous anatomy, juggle some hearts, and rage a little harder for me next Sunday, as I will be wallowing in the arms of my loved one. Or you could just ban together and talk mad shit about me. Whatever makes your bloody Valentine's extra sweet. :)

1 comment:

Daniel said...

Ohhh sex bomb, what a classic! I like the anatomical heart necklace... it seems like you could knock someone out with a quick turn.

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