Happy Early Father's Day

 I could tell so many stories about this man,

but what it all comes down to is he makes me very happy. 

I mean, obviously.

Day 2: My dad is in town for an unofficial college reunion. Unofficial, as in only the "freaks" were invited. His words, not mine. And he just bought a Brooks Brothers tailcoat from the Salvation Army for $15 to wear with a tie-dye T-shirt and jeans to the "Freak Formal". If it tells you anything, he used to have a braid down to his ass, and after cutting it off 30 years ago, put it on his bedroom mirror where it still hangs to this day.

Day 1: My dad is in town and making a bed (complete with bedside table) out of my unpacked boxes. He also suggested we put googly eye stickers on every sphere shaped inanimate object around town during our walk home.

Note to my boyfriend who is conveniently currently out of town:

My dad has been in town five hours, and has already built a bed out of boxes, fixed that damn lamp, figured out what was wrong with my speakers, and brought up the word "testicles" into dinner conversation. He is now attempting to repair the pilot tube for that shoddy right burner on the stove. If we don't die in our sleep from gas poisoning, I hope you have prepared yourself for what is my father.

PS: He is also wearing a bathing suit to bed.